2002-06-14 - 4:41 a.m. head on I had lyrics from the Jesus & Mary Chain's "Head On" stuck in my brain all afternoon yesterday: As soon as I get my head round you I come around catching sparks off you I get an electric charge from you That second hand living it just won't do And the way I feel tonight I could die and I wouldn't mind And there's something going on inside Makes you want to feel makes you want to try Makes you want to blow the stars from the sky I can't stand up I can't cool down I can't get my head off the ground Thus, the first thing I did when I got home was pop this record ("Automatic") on the turntable and give it a listen...which reminded me why this is my least favorite JAMC record. It's so slick and produced...without any of the sleaze, feedback, or rough edges I love from the Reid brothers...I never bought this album when it was new. I finally bought it when I spied it in a record store in L.A. (vinyl fetish maybe?) as a German import with a pretty gatefold sleeve with pictures on it...plus, it seemed silly to have such a glaring omission from my collection. Interestingly enough, I actually like the lyrics on this album quite a bit, and like some of the songs (Coast to Coast and Here Comes Alice) as they appear on collections like the BBC sessions...I think Head On was stuck in my brain due to the electric charge aspect. Whenever I've heard of people falling in love at first site, or the expression "made my toes tingle", I always thought it was crap fueled by an OD on hollywood romantic comedies. I still don't know about love at first sight, but I *do* know you can get an electric charge or sparks off someone when the chemistry and adrenaline is right. I actually wish I *didn't* know that though -- I don't want to be disappointed if/when I meet a boy who has everything going for him other than giving me a jolt w/his kiss... This week was long and tiring thanks to work hysteria. You see, each year, at about this time, we embark upon budget hysteria and cost control measures. "Cut spending! No travel! No New Hires!" These commands echoe through our halls as everyone walks around, heads hung low, mourning their underwater options and paltry project budgets. Of course, they do this crap every year, so it amazes me that department heads don't plan and budget accordingly, since this happens every year. On top of this, my group is having the world's slowest re-org. My immediate team is in a newly created "group" I christened "the slop bucket" since it lumped together a bunch of disparate functions. You see, in light of our irritating all hands meeting, and my general dissatisfaction with work (shared by many co-workers), I was buying in to the bad attitude at work. I was guilty of being a part of multiple little cube clusters of complaining corporate citizens. Then I went home... ...thought about the things I am really looking forward to over the next few months and years even, had a good long phone call with someone who makes me happy, slept like a log and awoke with a much-needed attitude adjustment. Why was it so easy for me to pull out of this funk? Thanks to these facts of my life: My work is not my life and is not where my self-worth comes from. I have no interest in climbing the corporate ladder. If I were laid off, after schlepping myself through Europe for a month or two, I'd be happy to have an excuse to work part time jobs at my favorite bookstore, music store, and wine shop to pay my rent. After I'm officially single again, I'm planning on looking for a new job anyway, and, perhaps, even moving someplace new. If only I could post that list in my cube farm habitat to remind myself not to get caught up in the hysteria...the best I can do is, along with another like-minded co-worker, keep standing up in our meetings and saying: "Stop the Madness!" Next on my agenda: how to make an 8 a.m. Friday morning meeting fun, starring...me! any comments? (0 so far) previous - next recently on almostgoldsf... in defense of an email box I came to do battle with SPAM - 2008-05-17 hello 2006 - 2005-12-31 Happy Thanksgiving - 2005-11-14 bon voyage - 2005-11-05 October already? - 2005-10-09