2005-01-30 - 11:55 a.m. I had my head turned / You didn't realize I'm lonely Listening to Interpol, baking chocolate chip cookies. Another pretty sunny day which helps lift the gloom imparted by the past few weeks of wet grayness. I am in the midst of a chocolate chip cookie baking frenzy. It's my way of letting go of the week's work stress of whch there was an abundance. As in stress of the big project and layoffs/restructuring kind. I am fine, but now have more people reporting to me. Today's introspection has fallen upon the idea of when you know the honeymoon is over -- be it with a lover or a friend. Historically, it would seem, my expiration date is i month after initial start date. That's when the new friend smell fades and folks are no longer on their best behavior. It's when you start to see the 3-D views. For the most part, it's all been good at the 30-day mark, but several times in the recent past, that's when the "uh-oh" lightbulb went off. When it became clear sometimes appearnaces are not what they seem, and someone is trying to approximate a reflection of you rather than project an honest view of themselves. Part of the problem, of course, is while folks have that new friend smell, you are compelled to spend an absolutely unsustainable, unrealistic amount of time with them. You pick up some of their mannerisms and speech patterns, and it starts to appear as though you are glued together in some way. But it's never gonna stay that way, which inevitably leads to someone's feelings getting hurt. It's inevitable. I blame the energy of this morning and the introspection on last night's dinner at Zuni with Maira-Rose. Zuni is my favorite restaurant, you see, and Maira-Rose is one of my longest term friends. Our dinner conversation found me waxing nostalgic about Zuni dinners past. The best date I ever had took place at Zuni. It was a balmy Indian Summer evening, and my dinner companion was someone who made me giddy. I shall not kiss and tell. However, I will say we went spoon for spoon over every last drop of the espresso granita, carefully cushioned between layers of house-whipped cream. He beat me to the last spoonful of whipped cream. He raised the heaping spoon with its milky white prize to his lips... then swiftly slipped the spoon between my lips, giving me his prize, the last sweet morsels of our repast. I am forever ruined by this boy, in more ways than just this one. Sigh. What a lovely memory. any comments? (1 so far) previous - next recently on almostgoldsf... in defense of an email box I came to do battle with SPAM - 2008-05-17 hello 2006 - 2005-12-31 Happy Thanksgiving - 2005-11-14 bon voyage - 2005-11-05 October already? - 2005-10-09