2004-08-29 - 6:01 p.m. We all speak without words... There's the light touch on the knee or the arm from someone you've just met, telling you "I like you." There's the irrepressible grin in response to what someone is saying, telling them "you are adorable and funny." There's the bite on your neck from a lover, telling you "I want you." There's the hazel eyes that become dark green and luminous and huge, telling someone that you're sad or angry, or otherwise feeling passionate about whatever you're saying. There's the nervous twirling of pens or straws or restaurant menu stands, telling you that someone's wheels are turning about something they're not telling you. There�s the folded arms and inability to hold your gaze, telling you your words are not sinking in, are not being embraced, are not connecting positively with someone. There's the mouth drawn into a straight line, not a pout, and not a frown, but telling you all the same that there's something not being said because no one can stomach that conversation right now, or perhaps ever. There's the hug that's a little too hard, and a little too long, telling you the goodbye the person giving it can't force through their lips. And on rare occasions, there's that actual tiny electric spark that happens when someone is fully, completely, and uncontrollably in the same headspace as you, and madly in love, if only for that moment. You can't see any of these things on the telephone which is why it's such an unsatisfactory mode of communication for me. And why I can't communicate at all with people who are closed with their actions and mannerisms. I crave information and communication -- be it through direct spoken or written words, or through a hand seeking out my own, and raising it to his lips, telling me I inhabit a special place in his heart, come what may. A world without intense personal connections, and communication, isn't one worth living in. But sometimes you have to cut bait, regardless of the quality of the connection with someone. Regardless of the untapped potential. Regardless of how much time and energy and passion you've sunk into another person. It's the hardest decision to make. But, sometimes, when there isn't an equal level of passion or commitment to the relationship, you have to let go, and wish the other person well. I've only known one person who was good at saying goodbye. As I told him, kissing him goodbye for the first -- but not the last -- time, "you're so good at goodbye because you have a lot of practice." I hope not to get any better at it, but I fear that I shall have to. Perhaps it is inescapable. I would tell you that it is cold and foggy here today, but I suspect you have already figured that out. any comments? (0 so far) previous - next recently on almostgoldsf... in defense of an email box I came to do battle with SPAM - 2008-05-17 hello 2006 - 2005-12-31 Happy Thanksgiving - 2005-11-14 bon voyage - 2005-11-05 October already? - 2005-10-09